Destructive Mental Habit Patterns; A Negative Inheritance

These past few days have been full of angst, sort this out sort that out. Move house, trade in the car, pack up the old house, work etc etc. Itziar and I have realized that the mental habit pattern we have become immersed in is a very negative one and not something we wish to pass down to our child.

Lately it has been one problem after another as soon as one issue is overcome another arises to takes its place. In a moment of clarity at 4am yesterday morning our part in perpetuating this cycle became acutely apparent. We crave stability in our lives yet our actions are not wholly aimed at advancing in that direction. There is something about the chaos which is so addictive. It is such a distraction from the mundane.

Taking a few deep breaths I remembered just how underrated breathing really is. With a deep inhalation a wonderful sense of calm settled on my troubled brain like a picnic blanket on summer grass. It is so obvious that my current M.O is the cause of great misery in my life and I just need to take time to breath. This is something I truly want to pass down to our child as the most valuable tool for mitigating the vicissitudes of life.

Anyway the day carried on we actually went back to sleep after our deep philosophical debate and woke as if the whole exchange had just been a shared dream. Then it was off to the tool hire shop to fetch a trailer which by some miracle the new old car we just got has an attachment for. Gone are the days of borrowing trucks and renting lorries from dodgy bearded men for exorbitant fees. Yes I proudly arrived home with my trailer in tow.

What they don’t tell you when you rent a trailer is that reversing is basically impossible. You go one way and the trailer advances in the polar opposite until you both collide. It reminds me a lot of human beings.


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