A moment present

I had a dream yesterday that I was chasing a child up a building shaped like an Inca pyramid. I could not catch up with the child as he bounded from step to step. All of a sudden I got a terrible case of vertigo and the horizontal slab I was scrambling up became vertical. I woke with a pounding start and my day began.

All day I could not find my feet time just kept running away from me. What did this dream mean? Deep down  I think I have a deep seated fear that  I will not be able to stay present and provide for my family. As a result of this I feel my child will slip away from me.

Taking ownership of this fear caused me to pause and reflect for a minute yesterday evening. I took a moment to breath in the cool night air of Cape Town’s Southern Peninsula and it felt good.

For the last ten weeks I do not think I have taken a single moment to breath, just breath. Sucking in the cool sea air last night emphasized this very clearly. The soothing yet enlivening sensation combined with the gentle song of the Indian ocean gifted me a moment present. Just a moment when the wheels of agitation halted their grinding passage through the pathways of my mind and stopped.

I am grateful for that and I realize that it is what its all about. No matter how many things I plan for and try to organize if I am not present to my child and my partner for a healthy period of time each day, none of it matters.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Cristina
    Aug 05, 2010 @ 22:44:11

    Hello Michael.
    I love reading your journal and from a short distance to see things and experiences that you share with my daughter.
    I would like to suggest to you, that you keep writing and pusblishing your work my dear Michael.
    There is a special way in which you play with the words and see the world that could bring hope and transformation for so many.
    Thank you for sharing your life experiences and been honest.
    Much love
    Cristina

    Reply

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