It has clearly come into focus for me that at the moment what ever I think is possibly wrong. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned is actually not entirely accurate. It should read:
Hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman scorned!
I realized this last night when we had an argument about ideas for the wedding.
Itziar’s needs are so prevalent at the moment I just have to park any attempts on my part to assert boundaries. Being a practitioner in the field of personal development this is a big edge for me having worked so hard on them. However she is two people now and I am one, there is a greater good to consider.
I find it very challenging to be in such an emotionally unstable environment. However in this case knowledge is power. Its no ones fault, neither one of us is doing anything to intentionally cause conflict and I can only imagine what the birthing process is doing to Itziar’s state of equilibrium. She tells me about it but there is only so much one can communicate with words.
Objectively looking back I can see that the borders in the landscape of our relationship are just shifting as we both assumed they would. We are creating space for a transcendent third being to join us, we just need to try and hold the polarities.
Journal of a 28 year old Dad to be... 